madman-and-still-not-ginger:

ursodum:

“I’m sorry. This is the first time I’ve hired a maid.”

The only woman on this movie whom I saw fit to raise a child, and she was the only one who couldn’t.

WOW THAT COMMENT WASN’T OKAY

(via senojamme)

andrewhussiesbosom:

please don’t wish for a zombie apocalypse I’m fat and my cardio sucks

(Source: queerhound, via senojamme)

audreysparker:

I’m comin’ out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine

(Source: wrists, via g0urmand)

orangewave:

when you go over your legs shaving like 5 times in the shower but when you get out and dry off it’s like
image

(via g0urmand)

eclecticpandas:

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

but he’s like, I’m lactose intolerant

(Source: eclecticpandas, via g0urmand)

fartgallery:

chesterloaf:

fartgallery:

i donate blood in the hopes that my blood will overpower theirs and take control of their body so i will gain another vessel to use as my own

why am I reblogging this?

it appears my blood has been successful

(via g0urmand)

(Source: fosterupdates, via 0riginal)

(Source: paintgod, via g0urmand)

(Source: band-of-thieves, via 0riginal)

(via iurp)

jakeenglishfromstatefarm:

moriarty:

me blogging

image

IM SO FUCKING MAD I JUST MADE THAT EXACT FUCKING FACE GOD DAMNIT 

(via 0riginal)

(Source: taco-bell-rey, via lolsofunny)

faemuses:

throh:

this is the #1 score on the leaderboards for flappy bird android and let me tell you why this is bullshit.
assuming that the pipes cross the screen at a rate of 2 every second (it’s probably slower than this; this is an estimation), this asshole would have had to play the game for 1,562,405,107,570 seconds. let me clarify: he played for one and a half trillion seconds.
this would give us about 26,040,085,126 (over 26 billion) minutes, or approximately 434,001,418.8 (434 million) hours. that gives us 18,083,392.45 days, or about 49,544 years. they want us to believe that cro-magnons hadnt even started slapping paint on walls when this motherfucker started playing flappy bird. bull. shit.


homie so mad he slapped a bro with math to tell him why he wrong

faemuses:

throh:

this is the #1 score on the leaderboards for flappy bird android and let me tell you why this is bullshit.

assuming that the pipes cross the screen at a rate of 2 every second (it’s probably slower than this; this is an estimation), this asshole would have had to play the game for 1,562,405,107,570 seconds. let me clarify: he played for one and a half trillion seconds.

this would give us about 26,040,085,126 (over 26 billion) minutes, or approximately 434,001,418.8 (434 million) hours. that gives us 18,083,392.45 days, or about 49,544 years. they want us to believe that cro-magnons hadnt even started slapping paint on walls when this motherfucker started playing flappy bird. bull. shit.

homie so mad he slapped a bro with math to tell him why he wrong

(Source: throh-moved, via crunchier)

umistakeme-forstraight:

Don’t shame the girls who sent pictures of themselves half-naked to their significant others as a way to express eroticism which is healthy and natural… give the people hell who think it’s okay to destroy someone’s trust and distribute those images simply for entertainment purposes. 

(via guy)